Whats this need?

Detail of weaving project.  Summers scarf, silk shirt, 70's polyester shirt and the one she gave me.

Detail: White Rice that smells like recent laundry detergent, Vintage black lace, J.Crew, the one she gave me (or did I claim it?)

Detail: One of the shirts from the last months.

Its coming along slowly...a couple shirts a day.

I have been working at this daily and it is a very slow process.  I suppose in the slow process without a clear end in sight I hear all the questions and watch the thoughts move in and out of the ropes.  "What am I doing?"  "Why am I special?" "How many ways can I see Summer?" "Wow, it takes so long." "This is stupid, I am stupid."  "Should this become something else?"  "Is what I'm making just this?"  "What is this?"  "This is hard"  "I don't want to let her clothes become something else."  "I don't want her to be gone." 

I also knitted a scarf this week and started hand built coil pots....hand meditations, physical thoughts, touching the Autumn sadness, making something, being it.

Work in process

This painting was the one you saw me working on outside a couple weeks ago with a big furry brown spider.  Its finished now.  It's aprox 4.5' x 5'

I went to an exciting workshop yesterday at Double Edge Theater.  It was a two hour "intensive" open training session, which basically meant a physical training session with the theater ensemble.  I had no idea what to expect, I wanted to participate in a physical art and wanted to try something that would be uncomfortable and a stretch for my body and mind.  It was a success in both those categories!  Basically it was an intense physical and psychological "follow the leader" moving and improvising with about 50 people in a barn.  FUN!
I also went because I have been developing a piece in my mind since November that has started to look more like a dance performance with multiple people in it.....something for the future:)

One of the things a member asked me was if I was a dancer and my answer was , "NO, but I did dance for 14 years of my life."  He responded: "Sounds like your a dancer then."  I wondered why I said no?  Is it because in order for me to be a "dancer" I need to be a ballet dancer, or dance 5 days a week, or be on a playbill?  Hmmm......It took me until I was 27yrs old to say I was an artist, it's funny how hesitant I am to claim all of me and all that I love to do. 

I took artist Gretchen Kelly to see the installation it was almost a black and white day.

I am working again in the studio (and out of the studio too!)  I think I am on to something all though I'm not sure what that is yet, and everything seems a bit awkward, which I believe is a good sign.  I thought I would share some pictures of work in process...this may change a lot still, right now its breathing and I will check it out tomorrow....

This is aprox. 4.5feet  x 7.5feet

Detail

Today.....

Today I....

If I feel love thats all I need to know

Last week I began painting, photographing and being with my neighboring environment, it feels like falling in love.  While I was working I kept hearing the inner dialogue of "What are you making?...What's it supposed to be/look like?...What is this art?  Is the painting the art, is the action the art, does it matter?"  I arrived in the same place as I did in Iceland, that the experience of "being" is the art.  The process or participation with creation, inspiration and the environment is what is the art.  When I paint with the environment the painting is the product or documentation of an experience.  I believe art is primarily sensual and nature is too, intellect secondary.....so, perhaps feelings trump thoughts and if I feel love that's all I need to know.

  

The wonderfully scary spider that jumped out of the dirt in the painting

 

 

    

"a sense sublime of something far more deeply interfused, whose dwelling is the light of setting suns" -Wordsworth