In hot pursuit (of not knowing)

Untitled, Red 2013 Ink on Paper 8.5" x 11"

Untitled 2013, Plastic, Acrylic, Wood 24" x 24"

Untitled Yellow & Gold Formations 2013 Plastic, Acrylic, String, Wood

Same as above

1st painting

I love the work I am doing in my studio-there is a lot happening and at certain points everything seems far away from each other.  But then I find that regardless of the medium there is commonality and a quest underway...an untitled quest.  

I read by chance today a little note about Don Quixote about the Knights Quest, "it is hopeless and fearless, it is based solely in fulfilling his purpose."  The purpose lies outside of right or wrong, succeeding or failing,  it is his hearts purpose (now I am paraphrasing as I don't have the bit in front of me..) Anyways, I related with that as an artist, as a person, as a truth seeker.  I feel compelled to pursue something deep within me, something instinctual, something which I do not yet know or recognize....but I do feel fear and hope, perhaps that is what I should lay down.  To become fearless with fear.  To be hopeless.  To be.  To follow the lead of my spirit in to my unknown purpose. 

I am reading Sylvia Plaths journals right now.  There is something so special about reading the truth that was not intended to be read by others, its here you find the similarity, where we share our secret shame.  One of the passages I relate so much to (it feels like she wrote my mind) is:  

"There are times when a feeling of expectancy comes to me, as if something is there, beneath the surface of my understanding, waiting for me to grasp it.  It is the same tantalizing sensation when you almost remember a name, but don't quite reach it.  I can feel it when I think of human beings, of hints of evolution suggested by the removal of wisdom teeth, the narrowing of the jaw no longer needed to chew roughage as it was accustomed to; the gradual disappearance of hair from the human body; the adjustment of the human eye to the fine print, the swift, colored motion of the twentieth century.  The feeling comes, vague and nebulous, when I consider the prolonged adolscence of our species, the rites of marriage and deaths; all the primitive barbaric ceremonies streamlined to modern times.  Almost, I think, the unreasoning, bestial purity at best.  Oh, something is there, waiting for me.  Perhaps someday revelation will burst in upon me and I will see the other side of this monumental grotesque joke.  And then I'll laugh.  And then I'll know what life is."

I will be posting more work soon-I have lots to show and tell.  But also, this weekend I have and opening Saturday at the Hudson Opera House.  I am in a very exciting group show with a few amazing contemporary artists.  To name just one: Melora Kuhn! I hope you all can come! 

OF LIGHT AND DARK: Five Artists in Contrast - Exhibition Opening

Hudson Opera House

327 Warren Street, Hudson, New York

SATURDAY MARCH 30TH, from 6 to 8 pm.

DAWN BREEZE
MELORA KUHN
KATE STERLIN
KAHN & SELESNICK
DOUG CLOW

and special guest DJ GIO!!!! will spin for the night.

Escaped into the present moment

I have been feeling a disconnect from the hands on process of making art. Life has been big and very full. My 10 hrs a week of non-Sunny time has been gobbled by the minions and millions of to-do's. Leaving me in my head. Tonight I felt envious, frustrated, exhausted with a livid desire to escape my circumstances.
It seems my unconscious is becoming better friends with my conscious, because before I reached for a internet fix, I thought to go outside- lay down and watch the sky. I've never done that so spontaneously and I highly recommend it as an immediate vacation solution. The great escape into the sky.
This small action delivered me into the most vast moment. Its all here now, an extraordinary instant, full of sound, light, and feelings. The difficult moments take us to the precious moments, places where our soul can touch our heart.

Beauty in the cracks

cement, silver foil, clover

Today was my second day painting in the studio.
After working some on the painting, I found myself outside searching for broken and cracked concrete. Staring at broken walls.

I had an intense morning, breathing life.

In the midst of it, I was reminded that beauty can be found between the cracks. The courage to continue growing and living between weighted pressure. Delicate Power.

Someone once told me that we draw pressure towards ourselves, that may feel painful, so we may cut facets into the diamond that we are.

There is always beauty in the cracks.

At every place any time

Mongolian Rainbows and Mountains

The Friday of my last blog post, I was researching these amazing rainbows in Mongolia online. They look as if they begin or end in those mountains. A link between the heavens and the earth.
Driving home that evening there was a mesmerizing sunset over our Catskill mountains, I tore my gaze to look to the left for a minute, and there in our sky was a beautiful full arc rainbow!!!
I immediately jumped out and took these pictures, so excited by the magic:)

Germantown Rainbow 11/13/09

It made me think that its all here, the same magic is everywhere all the time, just as its one great sky embracing all of this earth, one great galaxy embracing the planets in our solar system; one great life connected without any boundary.

Germantown Mountains and Sky 11/13/09

Autumns Rush

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These are three mixed medium paintings done this week. Each one is 9" x 12". I couldn't help but sketch some of whats enveloping me! The colors and textures that surround me here in Columbia County NY, are beyond beautiful. I have not been able to drive a straight line this past week. My head is being pulled in every direction trying to absorb every particle of gorgeous life...I am happy to be here:)

Far away, Happy Joy Joy

Far Away, Happy Joy Joy
44" x 50"
Mixed Medium on Canvas, 2009


This painting has lots of metallic and iridescent paint, yummy decadence:)!!!!

Raining on my spring flowers

Raining on my spring flowers
44" x 44"
Mixed Medium on Canvas

Long Distance

Long Distance
48" x 50"
Mixed Medium on Canvas


Whats really great is seeing this large painting in this small thumbnail size!!! Because when its so big that your physically inside while painting, you can't always see the composition. Since I don't plan my paintings, or even know where I want them to finish...when I end I'm somewhat nervous, but then seeing them small in one eye blink on the computer, I see that there is balance!!! Yah:)

Finding Joy

Finding Joy
44" x 50"
Mixed Medium on Canvas

(I havn't stretched the canvas yet, so pardon the shadow's in the top corners)

Spring Beginnings

March
4' x 5'
Mixed Medium on Canvas

This painting I finished today, and have been working on it for a long time, it changed so many times; I almost cut it up, threw it out, etc. and then I put it away for a couple weeks-out of sight, out of mind. Today I decided to revisit it being freshly inspired with an attitude of freedom. I am happy that I touched it once more, and happier still that it found its final form...well for now, Raushenburg was known to continue to "improve" his finished works:)

Spring Is Here!!!!

Yellow Spring
5' x 4'
Mixed Medium on Canvas

Untitled Drawing
12" x 16"
Mixed Medium on paper

Untitled Drawing/Painting 2
12" x 16"

Untitled Drawing/Painting 3
12" x 16"

Spring Green Triptec
3pcs 11 x 14 each
Mixed Medium on Canvas Board


The drawings were done in transition between winter and spring, the large yellow canvas I have been working on, ( Its done now!) for the last month or so..and the last piece was a "daily" painting completed today......I am still working and working on how to work more!!!

New Works

Godspeed
58" x 38"
Mixed Medium on Canvas, (Oil, acrylic, graphite, gold leaf, crayon)

It Keeps Snowing
58" x 38"
Mixed medium on Canvas, (oil, acrylic, graphite, gold leaf, crayon)

New Studio

Winter Hues

A photograph of snow and asphalt, while walking home the other day.....

In China's Tang Dynasty ( about 627 AD-) Someone wrote..."We see only what we look for; we look for only what we know" ( I just found this quote from a friend and fellow artist, Harris Browns, essay about "what is art" for 4th graders..and it is very apropos for me this week)

Below are four paintings I completed about a week ago. I was terribly dissatisfied at first and almost embarrassed by them, despite that I greatly enjoyed the process of creating them. I felt so uncomfortable with them, because I thought, "What are these? Their so trite and about nothing...why am I inspired to make marks about nothing?" I showed my husband and he encouraged me that they were nice as was..even without a known figure, symbol, intention or purpose.

So, I didn't touch them, ( or destroy them), and I went for a walk. While I was walking I noticed what I was looking at, I was looking at the marks in the snow, on the ground...the silhouettes, flat shapes, lines and textures... I SAW my paintings!!! I realized that I am painting what I see, feel and think, even when I don't consciously recognize it, and this helped me to know that I need to trust in the process. TRUST my painting process. That doesn't mean I have to love every outcome, but that I need to let go of the control even more, and just swim in the wonderful unknown waters of creativity, which is where my joy is....

Winter Hues I 11" x 11" Mixed Medium on Wood

Winter Hues II 11" x 11" Mixed Medium on Wood

Winter Hues III 11" x 11" Mixed Medium on Wood

Winter Hues IV 11" x 11" Mixed Medium on Wood

Days , 8, 9 & 10 & 11

Outside all the paintings (days 1-7) are buried, and the deer are walking on top!

Day 8 Front- This painting includes mixed paint mediums as well as fabric

Day 8- Back
Day 8- Outside


Day 9 Front

Day 9 Back ( I like the stuff on the table around this painting, so I left it for the photo)


Day 10


Day 11

The other "environmental" art piece of the day