Work in process

This painting was the one you saw me working on outside a couple weeks ago with a big furry brown spider.  Its finished now.  It's aprox 4.5' x 5'

I went to an exciting workshop yesterday at Double Edge Theater.  It was a two hour "intensive" open training session, which basically meant a physical training session with the theater ensemble.  I had no idea what to expect, I wanted to participate in a physical art and wanted to try something that would be uncomfortable and a stretch for my body and mind.  It was a success in both those categories!  Basically it was an intense physical and psychological "follow the leader" moving and improvising with about 50 people in a barn.  FUN!
I also went because I have been developing a piece in my mind since November that has started to look more like a dance performance with multiple people in it.....something for the future:)

One of the things a member asked me was if I was a dancer and my answer was , "NO, but I did dance for 14 years of my life."  He responded: "Sounds like your a dancer then."  I wondered why I said no?  Is it because in order for me to be a "dancer" I need to be a ballet dancer, or dance 5 days a week, or be on a playbill?  Hmmm......It took me until I was 27yrs old to say I was an artist, it's funny how hesitant I am to claim all of me and all that I love to do. 

I took artist Gretchen Kelly to see the installation it was almost a black and white day.

I am working again in the studio (and out of the studio too!)  I think I am on to something all though I'm not sure what that is yet, and everything seems a bit awkward, which I believe is a good sign.  I thought I would share some pictures of work in process...this may change a lot still, right now its breathing and I will check it out tomorrow....

This is aprox. 4.5feet  x 7.5feet

Detail

A day that doesn't happen often

I have created a new installation that is currently available to observe at the Germantown Nature Conservancy in upstate NY.

I have been envisioning this piece in various forms at this location for over a year but yesterday the pieces all came together and just like the year-I leaped in to action.  I am pleased.  This Video is from my walk today.

I am waiting for the title to become clear and in fact I don't have much to say about what the piece is exactly.  Its five "dress-up" dresses half-way hanging on a clothing line and half-way underground (or buried) in a spacious hidden field.  The strange part for me is that it makes sense without having the defintion of what that sense is. 

2/28/12

2/29/12

Me & my helper

Starching the Victor Costa to be hung to dry

I am excited to watch this piece these next couple days.

Today.....

Today I....

Girl Dolls

"For surely it is time that the effect of discouragement upon the mind of the artist should be measured, as I have seen a dairy company measure the effect of ordinary milk and Grade A milk upon the body of the rat.  They set two rats in cages side by side, and of the two one was furtive, timid and small, and the other was glossy, bold and big.  Now what food do we feed women as artists upon?"-Virginia Wolf

I found some precious treasures at the thrift store the other day, a pile of antique broken and aged dolls lying tucked away in the backroom on the shelf.  My heart skipped a beat and I thought to myself they must be saving these for something really special.  I asked if they were going to be for sale and how much they might be.  The woman said:  "Oh those, yeah those are really good for nothing I was just saving them for my son because maybe he could make art with them.  That's about all they might be good for."  Happily she sold them to me for a couple bucks and I felt like I had won the lottery.

Now a couple more days have passed and the remark has stuck.  I wonder why do I think of these beautifully worn and aged dolls as precious and art in their current form. While others think of them as garbage, but even more worthy of consideration is why is art only one smidgeon above garbage on the the value ladder?

I could argue why a doll holds artistic beauty and purpose, a beauty created by the maker and infused with love by the beholder, but does one need to argue the obvious?  What's less obvious that needs arguing is the devaluing of feminine interests and artists as a whole in our capitalist society.

This week I read 'A Room Of One's Own' by Virginia Woolf.  This essay is incredible.  There are so many highlighted pages to return to in my little copy.  I think what spoke the clearest to me was that in order for art to have integrity, it must emerge from an incandecent mind, free from bitterness or desires unfounded.  I couldn't agree more; but she goes on to illustrate that for women the ability to be free of these woes is near to impossible considering our history and position in society, again this rings true to me.  I admit that until I had my son I didn't consider what the differences may be between myself and a man, but for the last three years I have grappled with them.   I often find myself angry and bitter and conflicted as a woman, mother and artist.  How do we do it?  How do I do it?  How can I move beyond anger at never having enough alone space to create or being provided for financially to make art?  I do not have answers, but despite it all, there is a flicker to create that has not been snuffed.  This flicker is a determined brave naivete,  I am so grateful that my soul is strong enough to respond to the constant devaluation as an artist not by giving up or fighting but instead by acknowledging the abundance of beauty that is freely available to me every moment, as I am: a woman, mother and artist.

PS. I LOVE MY NEW DOLLS

Photographs of the water painting

I think I have begun an affair with the pond down the street.  I visit it and each day there is a new freshly painted canvas reflecting up at me.  The elements determining what to change on its icy surface. When I look at it I am fully mesmerized,  engrossed by the enormous generosity of its beauty.  I am thankful that its a small pond,  I doubt that I will ever know all of it.

A couple people mentioned my photographs could be beautiful paintings.  I think they already are photographs of beautiful paintings.

I don't photoshop my pictures.  They are straight from the camera.  I don't think there is anything wrong with editing photographs-but I am interested in having something depict the truth as much as possible without the artists interference.  I want people to believe in their own capacity to see beauty in everything.  I think that's one of the largest problems in print and film, that we confuse reality with fantasy and we no longer accept reality with its imperfections as beautiful.  We aspire to an unnatural beauty.  I aspire to find gems in the ordinary...but really there is no such thing as ordinary in nature.    I suppose some of these photo's could benefit from some little tweaks of contrast or saturation but I'll wait until the print stage to see how the paper affects the images.

Sunnys day with a camera

I bought Sunny a kids camera this week and took him out for an adventure to take pictures together.  It was so wonderful to observe his attention....airplanes, poop, footprints, me, sky, shadows (that was the first thing he wanted to take a picture of-his shadow).

Here he goes..............

If I feel love thats all I need to know

Last week I began painting, photographing and being with my neighboring environment, it feels like falling in love.  While I was working I kept hearing the inner dialogue of "What are you making?...What's it supposed to be/look like?...What is this art?  Is the painting the art, is the action the art, does it matter?"  I arrived in the same place as I did in Iceland, that the experience of "being" is the art.  The process or participation with creation, inspiration and the environment is what is the art.  When I paint with the environment the painting is the product or documentation of an experience.  I believe art is primarily sensual and nature is too, intellect secondary.....so, perhaps feelings trump thoughts and if I feel love that's all I need to know.

  

The wonderfully scary spider that jumped out of the dirt in the painting

 

 

    

"a sense sublime of something far more deeply interfused, whose dwelling is the light of setting suns" -Wordsworth

Today I found a galaxy growing in the mud

I have so much beauty to reflect on, so much so that I will need to post a bunch this coming week. This past week has been so exciting and inspiring between an epic visit to NYC where I saw so many of my favorites, screening my film at the Masters On Main St. Film Festival (It won the Peoples Choice Award for best experimental film!!!!  HURRAY!!!), starting new paintings and new gallery arrangements here (Stafford Contemporary/totally amazing director: Melissa Stafford) and in Italy(The gallery is opening in March, I will update with links then).....But I thought to start reflecting with today's beauty,  I found a galaxy growing in the mud.



This little video is raw and unedited.  Listen closely.  One of the best things I learned in Iceland was the magic of stopping, watching and listening, magic happens when you stop and slow down enough to see what you see, hear what you hear.  I think more and more this is what my art is about; what already is.

Easy Does It

 The harder it is, the easier I must make it.

   I am beginning again with simple daily actions.  A daily drawing.

  Noticing (and noting)

what I see.