|(detail of 3rd piece in a group of 4 each piece is 24" x 24" x 2.5"), Recycled Styrofoam, Spraypaint, Gold, Ash, Acrylic, Cloth, Antique Dish|
I am working. I found new love in new materials. I feel shaky most of these days. I feel afraid all the time, isn't that amazing. I wonder what does fearless look like?
Someone posted this today and I relate:
“Get scared. It will do you good. Smoke a bit, stare blankly at some ceilings, beat your head against some walls, refuse to see some people, paint and write. Get scared some more. Allow your little mind to do nothing but function. Stay inside, go out - I don’t care what you’ll do; but stay scared as hell. You will never be able to experience everything. So, please, do poetical justice to your soul and simply experience yourself" ~ Albert Camus (Notebooks 1951-1959)
"To feel confident and successful is not natural to the artist.
To feel insuffucient, to experience disappointment and defeat in waiting for inspiration
is the natural state of mind of an artist."-Agnes Martin
I suppose the comfort is knowing that the discomfort we feel is the normal we are often hurriedly looking for. So I'm getting comfy in these banks of snow-white not knowing and staying open for inspiration. Open me up, tear me open until all thats left is inspiration, sacrifice the ego and leave me fearless.
That sounds a little spooky.