Friday, May 04, 2007

Tragedy of Sorts! "total godsense"

28 of my paintings lost their lives today at a very young age!

They we're all being framed for my two upcoming shows...and the frame shop/barn burnt to rubble yesterday. I was supposed to pick them up today, and this is me standing in front of the remains of the fire this morning. Oddly this photo is faceless-just a camera phone picture...but I thought it was suiting, as my paintings are no longer visible...except on my website, which is now like a memorial, as 98% of what is on there and more, are now ashes.

I am freaked out, heartbroken, and nervous..but I am also really eager and excited to paint more. Also, this is coming after a week of really hearing and seeing inspiration about my future paintings, and knowing in my heart that I am just about to burst with inspired works.

I have been studying artists that I really enjoy, and have been blown away by their maturing & birthing in their first works you can see their mark, their DNA...but once they peel the layer of self consciousness and have practice under their belts, their "real" art blooms. This is encouraging to me. ( Agnes Martin used to annually burn all her paintings for more then 5yrs, until her real inspired paintings manifested)

Also, this group of work that just burnt to a crisp was my first full years worth of work( I plan on having atleast 60 more years worth!)..and yes I am very proud of it, and happy that it is considered worthy of showing, but I knew it was fleeting and transitional, and I feel divinely protected. I mean that in the sense that I think I am protected as an artist, and obviously that was not the work to be shown now. Its one of those things that just makes " total godsense"
(total nonsense now), and I just don't know yet how this exciting bit of drama will turn out in my story....but needless to say, I will be painting a lot for the next couple weeks...but today I'll be taking a picnic, and looking forward my new paintings.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Omg.... thats so sad. Your work is lovely, keep on keeping on.