Thursday, October 29, 2009

Black Birds In The Trees

....The leaves are falling so quickly and I feel a sadness as I watch them fall. I want to hold time so I can savor these hues for longer. Winter is approaching soft and cold.....

I wrote this yesterday in my journal only to be followed by opening Rumi at random to read:

" Don't complain about autumn.
Walk with grief like an old friend.
Listen to what he says.

Sometimes the cold and dark of cave
give the opening we most want."-Rumi ( Backpain)

I was really wanting to hold on to what so obviously I cannot change, time, life. I wanted to stand under the trees supporting all the leaves so they wouldn't fall, so I could feel their beauty, bright and orange. But I know better...I am learning I have no control...and that beauty doesn't die.

So, yesterday on my home from dropping off Sunny, I saw this view in the graveyard and it further reminded me of my grief and challenge to accept change. It reminded me of last autumn passing black bags in the trees on the highway as we drove to my sisters memorial. I remember the grief so thick, I remembered thinking that the bags looked like crows, but because I "knew" they were bags my feeling towards them was different then to birds in trees, and wondering how our minds are closed by what we "know".

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