The secrets found in materials

Dream Catcher, 2014, 22" x 18", Styrofoam, Encaustic, Gold Leaf, Dress Pins, Silver Thread

Detail of Dream Catcher

The piece above is one that I'm working on--it might be complete, but I am giving it a little bit of time to be certain it is?  I normally don't work with as recognizable figure elements or drawings, and frankly I don't really like them in my work or other peoples.  However, I keep seeing the figure outline in my head for some work I want to make, so I thought I would just try it.  My first reaction is "gross, but I know that whenever we see something unfamiliar instinctually we are repulsed or intimidated.  It takes us time to better understand our reactions to whats new.  I am going to allow myself to suspend judgement with this work and continue on until I understand my truth about it. 

Yesterday, after feeling "grossed" out by the piece above, I went to the Dorsky Museum in New Paltz.  I thought it would benefit me to look at other peoples art--to see what I liked or disliked and why.  It was a wonderful experience.  One show was contemporary Hudson Valley Artists and the other was more an educational show about an artist foundry.  Both exhibits were exciting to view and both shed some light on my question of "what do I like in art and what do I dislike".  What I noticed was that I am drawn to process, material oriented, experiential work--work that still has traces of all three of these elements in the final outcome. I enjoy work that is layered in story, or meaning.  Below are some pictures of the pieces that interested me at the museum.

Untitled (6 types of metal) Joe Shapiro 1969

Wave Hill Flower Diary, Linda Stillman, 2013

Untitled (Bunny), Dick Polich, 1969

*** This piece was just an example of a mold for the Bunny, the bunny being the piece of art--but I am enamored with the mold!  It has me thinking...

Paperwork, Angela Voulgarelis, 2013-2014

**I was really curious as to why the artist left the backside of this sculpture "undone"--I would assume that it is done--but it doesn't appear to be.  I don't think of Sculpture as having a "backside" there is all sides to be considered.  However, in this piece there was clearly a backside based on the way the sculpture was set up when you entered the space.  I hoped to read an artist statement but there where none available.

Untitled, Douglas Navarra, 2013

I enjoyed the affect of the painting on the found paper and the image reminded me of one that I am currently holding for reference material for upcoming work--see below.

Remnant of 'Jenny' poem by Dante Gabriel Rossetti c. 1864

And SOOOOOO exciting my new art materials just arrived via fedex!!! Rue plants!!!!!  You will be seeing these in work to come......

Rue arrived!!!!

ee cummings

now is a ship

which captain am
sails out of sleep

steering for dream

ee cummings

Sailing, 2014 aprox 20" x 14" x 3" watercolor, postcard, acrylic, ash, styrofoam, embroidery thread

side view of piece

drawings inspired by plant Magic dust

 

	plant Magic dust expect hope doubt (wonder mistrust) despair and right where soulless our (with all their minds) eyes blindly stare life herSelf stands   ee cummings

The Spirit Moves Through

The Spirit Moves Through, 2014

Styrofoam, Gold, Ash, Clothing, Acrylic

There have been many snow days, many hard days.  There have also been studio days.  Some of which I was certain affirmed my diarrhea abilities as an artist and others that affirmed that all I wanted to do and be was in those four walls.  Yo-yo times.

Perhaps I think, feel, lament and talk so much about fear because I am so engaged in it.  I think being in dialogue with it I am also in dialogue with courage.  Courage is not painless, its full of agony!  Courage takes your hand and walks you through the glass sharded gates of fear in to the unknown, scraping all your uncertainty raw.  Then when you get through those gates you may still have lingering vulnerability, which no one can take away from you...you just have to wait to see if the sky falls or opens.  Eventually those blue skys open within, expanding you with courage to do it all over again.  Compassion does nurse the wounds well.  We should all have buttons attached to a direct line of compassion, like an opiate drip.  PUSH NOW, MORE SELF-COMPASSION PLEASE.

Sneak Preview

(detail of 3rd piece in a group of 4 each piece is 24" x 24" x 2.5"), Recycled Styrofoam, Spraypaint, Gold, Ash, Acrylic, Cloth, Antique Dish

I am working.  I found new love in new materials.  I feel shaky most of these days.  I feel afraid all the time, isn't that amazing.  I wonder what does fearless look like?

Someone posted this today and I relate:
“Get scared. It will do you good. Smoke a bit, stare blankly at some ceilings, beat your head against some walls, refuse to see some people, paint and write. Get scared some more. Allow your little mind to do nothing but function. Stay inside, go out - I don’t care what you’ll do; but stay scared as hell. You will never be able to experience everything. So, please, do poetical justice to your soul and simply experience yourself" ~ Albert Camus (Notebooks 1951-1959)

"To feel confident and successful is not natural to the artist.
To feel insuffucient, to experience disappointment and defeat in waiting for inspiration
is the natural state of mind of an artist."-Agnes Martin

I suppose the comfort is knowing that the discomfort we feel is the normal we are often hurriedly looking for.  So I'm getting comfy in these banks of snow-white not knowing and staying open for inspiration.  Open me up, tear me open until all thats left is inspiration, sacrifice the ego and leave me fearless.

That sounds a little spooky.