Wednesday, March 09, 2011

D.I.Y. the art of discovering "I am"

Here goes a thought tangent....
This morning had a "Oh, maybe that's it!" moment.
Recently I contacted an Adult Residence Program for people living with Mental Illness. I contacted them because I want to be of service in some artistic way. I strongly believe that we can learn to connect with each other in deeper ways through the creative language, (Visual art, fiction, theater, music, etc) I also believe that this may be the portal to hold hands with someone who is experiencing a psychotic break, and if it is; then we can use it as a meeting ground to comfort each other when people are simultaneously experiencing extremely different realities. Which would then lesson the fear and isolation between people. In any case the facility responded that they are potentially interested, and would like me to propose something. Which is terribly exciting but it brings up the question "What can I teach or offer"? I am not an expert in anything!!!!!!!!!
I realized what I most want is to help others develop the courage to deepen self acceptance-which struck me as interesting because that's what I want most for myself and what I need supportive help in...and then I thought maybe that's just it!!!! We cannot teach each other this, we must D.I.Y. We must discover our own way-our own remedies, and along the way we need loving support and compassion-the kind of support that's not teaching "right or wrong" the kind of support that is as much teacher as it is student.
Which then made me think maybe I can just introduce a creative path towards self-discovery, with some of the regular tools I use.....and this morning I wrote another 'manifesto' which totally needs editing, etc. but anyways with all its imperfection and overused words here it is:
The process of creativity leads us to the artistry of our lives, not to becoming museum artists
(sometimes it does!). It strengthens and deepens our understanding of our self and others. Its through creative thinking and acting that we discover truth and beauty. Its the path to a divine or soul connection. Truth is not always joyful, it is also sorrowful-but truth is what sets us free, free to be ourselves, free to accept others as they are. The truth is not perfect in a dictionary sense, its perfect in its imperfection. Our souls know truth and we respond to it, its the guidepost in decision making. Once we know and accept our truths we can make decisions that are right for us. When we choose to be authentic we help others to do the same. Truth is love and love is what we live for.
Love fulfills our heart. Our pain and searching is always about fulfilling our hearts. We can fulfill ourselves by loving ourselves but in order to love ourselves we must first know and accept ourselves. As soon as we are born we are taught methods of living based on right and wrong. We begin to immediately move farther and farther away from ourselves, because we don't want to identify with "wrong". We reach a point where we don't trust ourselves, like ourselves or even know ourselves. I think our recovery of self begins when we breakdown. How we are living in our life becomes so completely unsustainable because we are so far away from ourselves that in essence we are dead. It is then that we begin the D.I.Y process of recovering the "I Am". I think this is where creative process begins. The creative process is not about learning whats right or wrong. Its a process of sifting through ideas, actions, examples and finding your own way, your own path. It is a D.I.Y creative path. It flourishes in a non-judgmental supportive environment and it struggles in an academic critical environment. It is not about how much you do, or how well you do it, it is about the willingness to try. The willingness to constantly touch the fear, to constantly be a beginner, to constantly meet yourself where you are, which is always changing. So its the willingness to try new things all the time, to always be a beginner. If you think about flowers-you plant a packet of poppies, each one will grow in to a poppy, but not one the same. They all need similar conditions to grow. Some grow tall and some short, they are all beautiful. Some of the seeds are sick or more sensitive then others. Some need more shade or more water. We too are that way. When we are aware of who we are and accept our conditions for growing into our highest potential, we can nurture ourselves and attend to ourselves. This includes asking for loving help in areas we can not do alone. It means standing as we are clearly and unashamed for who that is.

Oh man-wouldn't it be nice if there was a "courage" pill!

I also want to thank all of you who are with me, reading this blog and occasionally sending me notes. You are the most encouraging audience-watching me try new things, blunder and be silly. Its so awkward and scary sometimes. I'm always afraid I won't be liked or my work won't be liked....but somehow I still want to climb up the ladder and jump over and over again...maybe sooner then later I will learn to dive gracefully and swim with confidence and won't just keep belly flopping and doggy paddling....I definitely think that part of the reason I keep trying new things is because every time I flop you laugh and applaud with me:) Thank you!!!!!!!

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