Saturday, January 01, 2011



New Beginning-New Day-New Year

This year seemed like a series of blinks, each moment a new vision fleeting in time. It feels like just moments ago I was hot in August at my show, and that many years ago I bandaged a skateboard.

I just reviewed my blog from the past year-very few posts compared to the years before, very few paintings....however there is a theme which started with the first works of 2010, the planted paintings-Darkness, Patience, Transformation, Beauty, Acceptance,

Looking at my work, and my posts of 2010 I believe this is the what, I am not certain. The seed was broken open 2.5 years ago as my life was shattered. It has been in this darkness that something has opened in me-I believe it is my heart opening to my truth, my life, my love. Creation begins in the darkness, like the metaphor of the seed- the growth in this powerful place cannot be measured because it can not be seen....this is a place of feminine nature, which I have often denied and discouraged in myself because I have over valued product, pushing myself to produce what can be seen by others. I believed my goodness and lovability was equal with my recognized deeds. Seeing myself through others eyes, judging myself based on the ego's triumphs and in comparison to others I lived a censored me-basically Vanity and Insecurity ran a tight ship. These two captains also known as Fear, have resulted in severing much of my authentic self, a self I hid for many years. A self that is vulnerable, feels pain, is not made of stone and will alone. A self that is woman, unique and beautiful in many softer ways.

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.-Anais Nin

I believe the pain of not accepting myself for all that I am and was became to great-and with that came the crack of my soul-and the hard nut that held my heart, opened up to the same world, the same life, but all would never be the same again.

I can see through my artwork this past year that I am growing- slowly-in the dark. I can also see that I am learning that LOVE is the alchemical ingredient necessary for all positive changes in life.

I really am looking forward to this new year and what it is bringing me as well as what I am bringing to it and to you.

My wish this New Year is to continue learning how to LOVE myself
and without a second breath LOVE you too!!!

Lastly-my sister Summer gave me a card that said:
Open your heart and allow your hands to follow

This is my artist meditation for 2011

1 comment:

tim e. said...

a beautiful new year post Dawn...Thank You! and LOVE to all of us learning and growing in and out of the darkness. Tim